Am I Past My Use-By Date?

In all honesty, I have never felt old. Yes, yes, I know I’m not really that old.. but still, it was fun to half-jokingly complain about “kids these days”, with their BlackBerries, Tweeter, Twilight and Justin Bieber, and about the fact I no longer get ID’ed when I walk into a club.. you know, during those (very rare) nights when I can muster the energy to dress up, drink up, dance away, and then wake up as usual for school/uni/work. And now, look at me, I’m freaking blogging (blogging! — yes, it must be repeated, if only to convince myself..) on my 9-year-old laptop (which has been my constant companion through 3 universities, 3 continents and 3 countries) on a Saturday night! O. M. G. (#1)

…that said, something did happen that made me really question my “use-by” date: the amazing Indonesia Mengajar program. See, this foundation will send 51 young teachers selected from thousands of applicants, i.e. the creme de la creme of young Indonesian graduates, to the distant and far-flung corners of Indonesia for one year to teach elementary school! By distant, I mean no telephones, no internet, regular blackouts and hours of car/boat rides to the nearest town. The aim is twofold: 1) to partially solve the undersupply of qualified teachers in these remote areas, and 2) to introduce these young fresh-graduates, as the future leaders of Indonesia, to the real grass-root condition of the nation. O.M.G. (#2)

see me google the application procedure, imagining the countless possibilities, and mind thinking ahead how to best frame my application letter, CV, etc etc etc. see me scroll down the page, skimming through the minimum requirements… a slight lag between eyes+brain processing information and right hand quickly moving the mouse down… waaaiiiiit, scroll back up!! “Maximum age of 25 years old”. O.M.G. (#3)

…..

@#!^%&#$%!

…..

really? Really? REALLY? Ladies and gentleman, it’s official: I am OLD! Way past my use-by date. Opportunities are getting fewer and farther in between, and so it’s getting harder and harder to change the course of my life. Just like physically my body is losing its flexibility and the (little bit of) muscle tone it has, only to give way to aches and wobbly arms… so is my life losing its wonder and excitement, to be replaced with the mundane.

midlife crisis: ON.

yes, yes, I’m well aware that there’s a whole moral lesson to this story along the lines of “carpe diem”, “seize the day”, “better late than never”, bla bla bla.. but please, let the old ones rant. while we still have the energy to do so.

so here’s me, an old lady, signing out. it is, after all, way past my bedtime. meh.

ps: this post is in no way meant to dismiss the IM program, of which I highly admire and wish nothing but the best for its first batch of Young Teachers. nor is it meant to dismiss the really old people, who I highly admire too and find no less interesting than the young ‘uns.

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by rumayya on January 15, 2011 at 2:28 pm

    just for the record, my friend did join the program even though she is more than 25. age limit seems not too rigid. oh yeah your b’day is coming up this month isn’t it? well i’m not quite sure bout the date, but happy b’day asti. hopefully you’ll be able to enjoy years ahead w/ no regret 🙂

    Reply

  2. Posted by asti on February 7, 2011 at 9:37 pm

    @rumayya: Thanks, Pak Yayak! My birthday’s in Dec though :p I believe yours is in Jan, no? happy advanced/belated birthday!!

    Reply

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